Dance In The Dark
by Hikari-and-Yami
Summary: I slid my fingertips down the side of my arm, my eyes watching my movements through the bathroom mirror. I applied pressure when I got to the dark bruise on my bicep to see if it was bad as it looked. It was. -- Puzzleshipping -- Symphony Series: 1
1. Prologue

A/N: Hey all! So, notes concerning this fic: All chapters will be short, but as the story progresses, things will be explained and questions will be answered. The story as a whole will be generally shorter than my other fics, but enjoy nonetheless!

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**Dance In The Dark**

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_Silicone._

_Saline. _

_Poison. _

_Inject me.  
_

I slid my fingertips down the side of my arm, my eyes watching my movements through the bathroom mirror. I applied a little pressure when I got to the dark, discolored bruise on my bicep to see if it was bad as it looked.

It was.

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----

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He knew.

Oh, yes, he definitely knew.

He took one look at me, and he knew.

He reads me, kind of like a book.

His favorite book.

I don't know why I even bothered lying to him in the first place.

"What's wrong?" he asks me.

His voice.

It's something meant for dreams.

I do dream about it actually.

All the time.

Every night.

Because I love him.

I love him unconditionally, with my whole heart.

So much so I would die for him.

But we've been best friends since we were three.

Since we could talk, and walk, and hurt, and bleed.

So it wouldn't work. It just wouldn't.

He had a girlfriend anyways.

A very pretty, nice, smart girlfriend.

I realized long ago that he could never return my feelings.

Especially when his were directed towards someone else.

And besides...

I had a boyfriend.

"Is he hurting you again?"

An abusive one.

"No," I reply.

"Yuugi." He looks steadily at me. "Is he?"

Did I mention the color of his eyes?

They're scarlet.

A little burgundy.

With a hint of crimson.

And a touch of cerise.

They draw me into his world.

They control me.

They make me tell him the truth.

"We just got in a fight. I kind of deserved it, I guess. I should have kept my mouth shut."

His lips go into a tight line.

His cheeks, his tan gorgeous face flushes an ivory pink.

His eyes narrow so much, they become dark slits in the dim light.

His entire body is glowing, radiating heat and anger and protection.

It pulls me in.

I want nothing more than to touch him.

I want nothing more than to cry.

"Yuugi," he says to me. "You can't go back to him anymore."

"Atem." See. He has a beautiful name, too. "Don't worry so much. Everything's fine."

"You call this fine?" He pulls my arm towards him and lifts up my jacket sleeve. The bruise is not as dark, but it's still there.

And Atem is livid.

"Atem —"

"Where is he?"

"Stop, please."

"Don't." His eyes find mine, and God they're so beautiful. "Don't defend him."

I pull at his arm when he makes an attempt to leave and my hand reaches up on its own to rest against his cheek.

"Até," I say, searching his eyes. "Please. I'll take care of it, I promise." I recoil at the lie in my throat. "I'll leave him."

"Yeah." Atem scowled. "Right after I break his face."

"No, I don't want that!" I yank my hand away from Atem's face and take a step away from him. "Please, just —"

"What, Yuugi?" He closes the space I've made between us and grabs my wrists, pulling me to him. "You promised me this wouldn't happen again!"

"Stop, let me go," I try to break away from him, but his grip is too tight.

"Why do you keep going back to him, Yuugi?" he asked, shaking me a bit. "You deserve so much better, can't you see that?"

He doesn't understand.

No one does.

I can't leave.

I can never leave.

"Please." I look up at Atem, and I can feel the tears lingering right beneath my mask, consisting of phrases like 'I'm fine. I'm okay.' I can't even begin to explain how familiar the foul taste of those words were on my tongue. "Just let me take care of it, Atem," I tell him.

He watches me carefully, reading me, and the anger in his face diminishes with each passing second.

Then he lets me go.

"Yuugi... I just..." He sighs and looks away from me, while raking a hand through his hair in a fit of frustration. "I just don't want to see you hurt. I... I _can't_ see you hurt."

"I'm sorry," I say, wanting more than ever to just fade away. I wanted to disappear to a place where no one could find me, where no one could see my pain. "I'm so sorry."

"Stop, Yuugi." He looks at me dejectedly. "Stop blaming yourself."

"But —"

"Shh." He reaches out to me and pulls me into an embrace. "We'll talk about it tomorrow, okay?"

It is so, so hard not to cry in his arms.

"I'd like that," I say, breathing out deeply. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," he says in my ear quietly.

I breathe again, and I don't say another word. Besides...

What else is there to say?

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	2. Gifts

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**Dance In The Dark**

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_Run, run, his kiss is a vampire grin._

It sparkles like a thousand suns.

And it paints the walls with rainbows.

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----

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It's a heart-shaped locket with a diamond in it's center.

And it dangles from a silver necklace.

It's resting in my open palm, cold and full of promises that will never be kept.

I want to close my fist.

I want to destroy it.

But I can't.

I never can.

"It's beautiful," I say instead.

He smiles at me.

Then he picks up the necklace by the chain and circles behind me.

"I thought you'd like it," he says.

He swings the necklace over my head and lifts it up my collarbone.

The sound the clasp makes when he clicks it together is defeaning.

Another gift.

Another promise.

Another lie.

"I'm really sorry, Yuugi," he whispers in my ear.

He walks back around me so that he can look at me.

"I promise I won't ever hurt you again."

He reaches towards me, and I involuntarily flinch.

But then I feel his fingers adjusting the locket in the center of my chest, right over my heart, and I breathe.

In the next moment, his fingers are under my chin.

He applies pressure, and suddenly my eyes are locked with his.

No where to run.

There never is.

"I promise," he repeats.

I'd heard him the first time.

And I want more than anything to just believe him.

But I don't.

Not anymore.

But that doesn't stop me from smiling up at him.

I wonder what he sees when he looks at me.

I wonder if he sees the same pathetic, weak person I see when I look in the mirror.

I wonder if he knows that I practice my smile – the one I'm giving him now – in the bathroom everyday.

If just so I can fool myself, if nobody else.

I imagine Atem standing in front of me, with his eyes the color of fire.

I pretend that it's him opening up his arms to me.

But it's not.

And it could never be Atem.

Because he could never hurt me.

Not like this.

"I forgive you," I say.

I guess lying is contagious.

Suddenly, his arms wrap around my waist and pull me into a hug.

I try not to cry, as I reach up and touch the locket over my heart.

A possession.

Just like me.

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	3. Torn

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**Dance In The Dark**

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_The moon lights away while he's howling at him._

It happened again.

And this time he didn't stop, until he drew blood.

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----

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_Knock. _

No.

_Knock._

Oh, please, no.

_Knock._

Not him.

"Yuugi?"

I don't answer.

I hold my breath.

I pretend I'm not home.

"Yuugi, I know you're in there."

My heart skips a beat.

"Open the door."

_No._

"Now."

I think about ignoring him.

But I know Atem.

He won't go away.

He'll stand outside my door all night if he has to.

He's stubborn.

And, God, I love him so much.

"Coming," I say loud enough for him to hear.

I quickly throw on a sweatshirt.

I cover myself so that he can't see the reason I've been avoiding him for the past week.

I cover myself so that he can't see the pain written all over my body.

"Hey," I say when I open the door.

He looks down at me with a firm expression.

His eyes narrow on mine.

He knows.

"Yuugi," he says. "Where have you been? I've been calling all week."

"Oh, yeah. I've been busy. School and all. I'm sorry I haven't returned your calls."

I lie to him, even though we both already know the truth.

I lie, because I have to.

"I see," he says.

He nods his head towards me.

"Well. Aren't you going to let me in?"

"Oh, uh, I was just about to head to bed, actually." I'm stalling. "Can we talk tomorrow?"

He looks away from me and shakes his head.

He smiles a bit, disappointed that he was stupid enough to believe me in the first place.

He was.

"You didn't leave him."

Not a question.

A statement.

A fact.

"Atem," I sigh.

I can't even look at him in the eye.

"I've had a really long day," I continue. "Can this wait?"

"No, Yuugi," he says, pinning me with a glare. "It can't wait."

"Well, it's gonna have to."

I try to close the door, but he sticks his foot inside and stops it.

"Oh, hell no, do you think you're getting out of this conversation this time," he says.

He pushes his way in.

I take a step back.

"Atem, stop."

"No."

He makes a grab for me.

But I take another step back, before he can reach me.

"You promised me, Yuugi."

He stands in front of me.

And I feel the anger and hate and pure rage pouring out of him.

I know it's not for me.

But I feel like it should be.

"You promised me you'd leave him."

"Atem -- "

"Goddamnit, Yuugi."

He reaches for me again.

And this time, I don't have time to move away.

He grabs my wrist and pulls me towards him.

And I fight him the whole way, because I know what he's going to do.

"Let me go, Atem."

"Not this time," he says.

He pulls at my sweater.

And I feel the cold air in the room prick at my skin when he rips it over my head.

And now I'm exposed.

And Atem's eyes are the size of mine.

His ruby gaze is searching me.

Tracing my skin.

Piercing my soul.

And I've never felt so ugly.

I don't even realize I'm crying.

"Happy now?" I yell at him.

His eyes find mine again.

And he looks like he wants to cry, too.

"Oh, God, Yuugi."

He touches my cheek.

He traces my chin.

He raises my head so that we're eye to eye.

"Why did you go back to him?" he whispers.

I yank my chin from his grasp.

"Because I didn't have anywhere else to go!"

"You could have came to me!" he tells me.

"No, I couldn't have," I say quietly. "You're too busy with your _girlfriend_."

He stops.

Everything goes perfectly still.

Even I heard the bitterness in my words.

It was practically seeping out of my pores.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he finally asks me.

"I..."

I love you is what I should have said.

I want you to stay with me.

I can't leave unless I know that you're gonna be there to catch me when I fall.

Not as a friend.

But as a lover.

As a soulmate.

As my everything.

But, of course, I never say the things I should.

"I just miss you... I feel like I don't see you as much anymore."

Something in Atem's eyes dim at my words.

Disappointment?

Why would he -- ?

"I'm sorry," he says, looking away. "I thought you were going to say..."

He shakes his head.

And then he looks back at me.

"Nevermind."

"What?"

"Forget it, Yuugi."

"...Okay." I shift my weight onto one leg. "So -- "

"You're leaving him."

"Atem -- "

"Yuugi."

He takes me into his arms and kisses the top of my head.

It makes me shudder.

I want this forever.

"If you don't leave him," he murmurs to me, "then I won't be able to stop myself."

He leans back to look at me.

"If I ever see you like this again..."

He touches the large bruise on my chest with his fingertips.

"...I'll kill him."

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	4. Escape

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**Dance In The Dark**

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_His boyfriend says he's a tramp, he's a vamp, but he still does his dance. _

For a split second, I thought that maybe, just maybe, I could escape.

But then I realized that no matter what I did, I could never run far enough.

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----

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"You think you can just leave me?"

My wrist is twisted.

"You think I would _let_ you leave me?"

My head is throbbing.

"Did you forget who took you in?"

It hurts to breathe.

"Did you forget about everything I've done for you?"

Glass cracks beside me.

"You ungrateful whore. What? Did Atem fuck you? Is that why you want to leave?"

I'm crying so hard now.

"Oh, wait. That's right. He didn't _want_ you."

"Stop," I sob. "Please."

I fall back into the kitchen counter when his fist buries itself in my stomach.

His other hand snakes behind my neck and pulls at my hair, yanking my head back so that I have no choice but to stare at him.

"You're not leaving me," he says in my ear harshly. "Not because I want you, but because you _need_ me."

He lets go of my hair and pushes me away from him like he's disgusted by me.

By my presence.

My existence.

I am, too.

"No one will ever love you."

I know.

"Not me. Not Atem."

I know.

"You're nothing."

I know.

"And worthless."

I know.

"Now get out of my sight."

Okay.

"Oh, and another thing."

I stop by the threshold of the kitchen door and take a moment to lean against the frame.

I'm so tired.

And my body's still shaking in pure agony.

And I can't stop it.

"If you ever talk to Atem again, it will be the last time you do. Understand?"

My heart stops.

And just like that, the tears start all over again.

"Do you understand?!" he repeats, taking a step towards me.

"Y-yes."

I want to die.

I want to fade away.

I want to disappear.

"Good." He nods. "Now go shower."

I'm out of the kitchen and up the stairs before he even finishes.

I'm in the shower before the bathroom door closes behind me.

I'm still in my clothes.

But I don't care.

I don't care about anything anymore.

Because now, I have to make an impossible choice.

And no matter what I pick, I lose.

If I leave, he will kill Atem.

And if I stay, Atem will kill him.

Either way, I'll lose the one person I exist for.

The person I breathe for.

The person I would live and cry and die for.

Either Atem will die.

Or he'll spend the rest of his life in jail.

So, there's only one real decision I can make here.

There's only one way to protect him.

And I knew this before I even got halfway up the stairs.

So, knowing what I have to do, I curl up into a tight ball on the tub floor and cry until I run out of tears.

Until I can't cry anymore.

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	5. Cornered

Thanks for the reviews! Check out the next installment to this series, which will be released later this week. :) Hope to see you all then!

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**Dance In The Dark**

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_He won't look away, but he won't look back._

I'm being pushed away from the surface, so far into the ocean that all I can see is blue for miles and years and eternity.

I'm caught in an undertow, and I can never escape it.

I'm drowning.

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----

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I have everything planned.

I know how this will end.

I know what I'm going to do.

And even though I won't be here, I know what will happen after.

I've already written my letter to Atem.

I left it on my desk at my apartment so when he comes looking for me, it'll be the first thing he'll see.

In the letter, I apologized for what I'm about to do.

I thanked him for being there for me when no one else was.

I wrote down how much I'll miss him.

How much I adore him.

How much I love him.

And how much I wish things had been different.

I put in my letter that I wish it would have been us that had wound up together.

It should have been us.

We could have made something wonderful.

But fate thought otherwise.

And now, the corner I've been backed into has run out of air.

And I can't breathe anymore.

"Yuugi."

My boyfriend.

He's in one of those moods again.

"Get in here."

I walk into the kitchen and gaze at him from the doorway.

"Yes?"

I hate him for what's he's done to me.

I hate him, as much as I hate myself for letting him.

"Take a run to the store and get me a pack of cigarettes."

I told Atem to meet me at my apartment at ten o'clock.

But by then it'll be too late.

I want him to get my letter tonight though.

I don't want him to go on another day without knowing how much he meant to me.

"Okay," I say.

I don't leave right away.

I just stand in the threshold and stare at him.

I wonder what happened to the man who swept me off my feet.

The one who bought my flowers every Tuesday and would call me just to tell me he loved me.

The one I, in some degree, fell in love with, too.

The one I thought wasn't capable of hurting me like this.

I guess I had it coming though.

In some sense, I used him, as a replacement for Atem.

I directed some of the love I held for Atem at him in hopes that he could fill the void in my heart.

But standing here, I realize that all I was trying to do was find someone who could distract me from the obvious.

I realize now that Atem was, is, and will forever be my everything.

My only.

"Are you just going to stand there all day?"

I focus back in on my boyfriend's face.

I used him.

And thus, I was used.

Fair game.

"Sorry. I'm leaving now."

I take slow, deliberate steps out of the kitchen and down the hall.

The bottle of pills shaking in my jean pocket is almost soundless.

But I can hear them perfectly.

I grab my coat of the hook behind the door and slowly put it on.

When I come back, I'm going to lock myself in the bathroom.

I'm going to take every pill.

And then I'm going to wait.

I planned it all.

I know the ending to my story.

I take the deepest breath and open the front door.

And, for a moment, I thought I had already died.

I wish I had.

Atem stands on the other side of the door.

His eyes are narrowed, his lips thin, and the lines that make up his face are tight and stiff.

I frantically search the ruby eyes that are locked with mine for any indication of why he's here.

Then I look down to the clutched letter in his hand and my eyes go wide.

I glance back up at him.

I open my mouth to explain.

But nothing comes out.

Besides...

What else is there left to say?

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